god!!!

why can't she just accept who i am and my friends?? i LOVE my friends and she can't take them away from me again. last time she tried, it DIDN'T TURN OUT ANY BETTER...! why the hell would i manipulate my brother to leave earlier. i love being with my cousin and his girlfriend. why does she always assume the worst about me. im so sick of it. seriously. yes, i wanna watch the movie, yes, i'd like to watch it today. but i sure as hell wont die, i KNOW that, if i don't.

Im so tired of her watching my every move. if i had done some of the things my brother did. she would FREAK out and i wouldn't stop hearing about it EVER. she would blame me for manipulating my three therapists, and making everything sound different to them than it acctually is. but all you do is smile and then say some shit to me like it's my fault...! Why the hell would i lie to my therapist? what would i gain from that? do you think i ENJOY being sick? do you think i like having social angst? do you think i loved having a depression? for your information, I DIDN't...!

cant help thinking. was I some kind of mistake of your's? was i ever ment to be?

whatever's the reason. im here... DEAL WITH IT...!